


Is that all?

by Danae_krd



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Again, Chakotay doesn't admit his feelings, Episode Related, Episode: s03e15 Coda, F/M, Fictober 2018, Ranks Parameters and stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-29 04:31:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16256720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danae_krd/pseuds/Danae_krd
Summary: Fictober 2018: Prompt #4 "Is that all?"Chakotay is happy to have Kathryn back. Is that enough though to change things between them?





	Is that all?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you gracelockheart and angrywarrior69 for the Beta!

She asks me to join her for one last drink in her quarters. I accept her invitation without a second thought. I don’t want this night to end and we both had agreed earlier that it should be an endless celebration of life. She’s gorgeous tonight. She laughs and talks about her life before Voyager and I can’t believe that she’s actually here with me right now. Kathryn cheated death.

Everything seems to remain the same and yet everything is new to me – and maybe everything is new between us from the moment she got back to me – to us, to her crew. She is real. For a few seconds, when we were on the holodeck, I was afraid that she maybe was just a hallucination. But she wasn’t. I could hear her husky voice calling my name softly, almost tenderly. I could see her sapphire eyes sparkling with the fire of determination; and she smelled like roses, as always. It was the same woman I fell in love with when we were stranded on that planet – when we had all the time in the world and nothing else mattered at the moment. I didn’t lose her. That’s all that matters now.

I ask her how she feels with everything that happened. We didn’t discuss it earlier. She wanted to avoid the conversation and I’d never put pressure on her. Now it seems like a good time though. It’s late, we’re both tipsy and relaxed. Although, once again she doesn’t want to answer, so she’s not going to. She makes a gesture, dashing her hand aside, as if to dash away something troublesome. “It’s not important Chakotay,” she says and lets out a throaty laugh, “it’s part of our job.”

Then, she leans closer to me and I can smell the strong residue of wine on her breath. She asks me how _I_ feel and she even raises an eyebrow suggestively cocking her head to the side. I sigh internally and try to swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. She never ceases to amaze me. I know it. She knows it.

I wonder how I should answer. If there weren’t any ranks between us, I’d know exactly how I’d answer but now things are quite different. Should I tell her how I felt when I was holding her dead body? Should I tell her how desperately I was searching for a sign that she was still alive?

Should I tell her that I love her?

Instead, I don’t say any of these things. I force a smile onto my face and I just say, ‘’I am glad we have you back, Kathryn.”

She knows what I hide from her. I can see it by the way she looks at me.

“Is that all, Chakotay?” she asks me and I can hear the bitter sarcasm in her voice.

I merely nod and after a few seconds, we just change the subject. I know that we’ll both try to forget that we ever had this conversation. Eventually, we may forget it.

Kathryn cheated death tonight. That’s all that matters... for now.


End file.
